Extroverted? Here Are Some Tips on How to Be Quiet:

Subhendu Sekhar Biswas
3 min readNov 2, 2021

This may seem counter intuitive — why be quiet when you should actually be more social and outgoing, right? Well, yes, one should be social and interact with the people surrounding oneself. But things are not always how they ‘should’ be. A substantial amount of the population is introverted, and this article is to help them. It may be confusing how telling extroverts to be quieter will help introverts — trust me, it does. Look around you, are all of your friends extroverted? Chances are — No. If all the people in a group are equally social, everyone cannot be a chatterbox, because no one is quiet enough to listen to another’s blabbering. So, if you are an extrovert, maybe you are boring your friend with your unnecessarily detailed stories which are not important anyway. Your words become someone else’s burden to bear, and your friend might be too polite to make you aware of the situation lest you get hurt. That is why you should consider being a quiet person once in a while and reflect on yourself, letting other introverts exist in peace.

· Is it worth telling?

Small talks are necessary. One does not simply walk up to a stranger at a party and says, “Do you think that the inevitable end of life takes away the significance of living?”. A journey begins with a small step. But your quiet friends are not the same, they have to waste their time and mental energy listening to what your cat did or someone you do not know commented on your pictures and what not. If you will not remember something a week later, it is not worth talking about.

· Are you really excited?

It may seem similar to the previous point but there is a slight difference. Sometimes some things happen in life that are not really important, but it is exciting nonetheless. You as aspiring introvert must ask yourself — Am I really excited about this? Was I really looking forward to this? If the answer is no, stop yourself from spreading it.

· Avoid calling.

It is safe to say that the most hated thing by introverts are unnecessary unannounced unimportant social interactions. So, try not to call that friend or colleague if it is not an emergency. You have the ability to text — please do so.

· Talk softly

Maybe you do not realise but if your normal volume is louder than most, it is annoying to listen to for your soft-spoken friend. Believe it or not, people can actually hear you when you speak normally. You do not really need to be loud to be the centre of attention. And this takes to my next point.

· No need to be the centre of attention

Have you ever thought that maybe most of the time you talk too much and unconsciously trying to be the centre of attention? If you are doing that, please reconsider. Your friends too have things to say. Try to be the ears rather than the voice once in a while. Others will get a chance to talk their heart, and you will see that there is a world outside your own stories.

· Are you trying to drag them outside?

As I mentioned previously, social gatherings are not preferred by the introverts. Hanging out once in a while is fine, but do not try to drag them out of their cosy rooms every weekend. Have you ever thought that maybe everyone does not want to party as much as you do? Maybe you could help with some alone time and discover the creative side of you, or enjoy the popular series that your other extrovert friends are talking about.

You may think, why do you have to be quieter and more composed? You like to be loud and outgoing, why do you have to cater to your soft-spoken friends and accommodate to their likings? You do not have to. You can act however you wish, but do not drag your quiet friends into their misery. But if you do want to be friends with the introvert ones, be mindful of yourself.

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